I Over-Estimated It

Well, that didn’t take long! Four days ago I predicted that the federal shut down wouldn't last beyond a couple of months, but it looks like it's only going to be a few days before Trump and the ruling class decide the old folks aren't worth it. Three days ago it was reported that the Trump administration was discussing “opening the economy” after two weeks of social distancing, the necessity of "making difficult trade-offs," and the possibility that harming the economy might lead to more suicides or other deaths than the virus. Trump tweeted that the country “was not built to be shut down” and that he won’t let the “cure be worse than the problem.” Today's headline: Trump may ease restrictions. 

Love In the Time of Corona Virus

In the sixth week of self isolation and social distancing (I had a head start on everyone due to a severe respiratory illness in February), my thoughts and feelings about Covid 19 are up and down, back and forth. First lesson: Of all the things I’ve worried about in my life -- kids, budget cuts eliminating my job, tsunamis -- I never worried about a pandemic. I knew they were possible, of course -- my great aunt died in the 1918 flu pandemic. And I even knew they were inevitable given global warming. But I didn’t worry. And now one has happened! The other things did not -- kids turned out OK, never lost my job, no tsunami here (yet). So once again I have learned the obvious -- worrying is useless!!!

One of the reasons I didn’t worry about a pandemic is that for the vast majority of my 75 years we had competent government. I may not have agreed with the policies or actions of various administrations, but I always had faith that the government worked. I also had faith that our medical system worked, at least for people who could afford it. Now we have incompetent, irrational, selfish people in charge, people who don’t like science or expertise. Trump actually eliminated the group focused on pandemics two years ago, and now he has denied the problem for weeks. Even now there seems to be no federal plan or attempt to plan. Trump continues to make things up and spread disinformation. 

We know very little about this virus, because it is completely novel to humanity. Into this vacuum flows a toxic mix of speculation, rumors, and lies, a perfect breeding ground for fear and irrationality. Nevertheless, our state and local governments have responded with a plan and people are doing it! 

Schools and “nonessential” businesses are closed. All group activities are cancelled. We are supposed to stay home, practice social distancing, and keep washing our hands, with the goal of “flattening the curve.” It’s as close to a shut down as I’ve ever seen. The economy is going to suffer a great deal and may never again be what it was. This situation may continue for many months. The big question is how long are people going to be willing to wreck the economy for the sake of old folks and vulnerable people.  (My guess is a couple of months, but we’ll see.)

Like anything, there are some positives here. It’s a treat to go slow and just do what I feel like whenever I feel like it. Fortunately, I have art, reading, streaming entertainment, and walking to do. The level of cooperation and adherence to the state shut down astonishes me. People are using social media to help each other. Grocery stores have instituted special hours for seniors to shop. Costco doesn’t allow hoarding. Moms are doing home schooling and learning how valuable teachers are. I have talked on the phone with friends more than in years, and we actually have uninterrupted and interesting conversations. People are learning new ways to “get together” online. And who knows what else we may be going to learn through this pandemic.

Now for the love part. Cooperating with the "quarantine" is an act of love for the community. But for me, the worst part of it is not being able to get together with my grandchildren. I miss them!!! I miss hugging them, and I even miss changing the youngest one’s diapers. We are fortunate to have FaceTime, so I can at least see them and talk to them. In addition, I want to “be there” for them and support them emotionally through this difficult and scary time. Let’s hope one can “be there” for someone when one is not there.